After completing the 47 days of my experiment, I saw some of these results:

– joy in making art for me again, which hasn’t been true for nearly 14 years!

– inspired visually by the Word

– more depth in my understanding and ability to relate with major and minor prophets

– greater perspective on God’s presence, provision and working in my life

– more peace that came alongside developing a grateful heart

I continued all aspects of the challenge until July. Afterward, I still spent mornings in Scripture, working through the books of wisdom after I finished all the major and minor prophets. I also continued making art as a weekly discipline, but started making a colouring book for a dear friend instead of making standalone pieces. After i finished the colouring book in August, I started making one for me.  The process is a lot slower, as I find it hard to take time for myself, but the practice of making art calms my soul and brings deep peace. It also has the added bonus of helping me connect deeper with my students, as we discuss pros and cons of various mediums. I think that helps me build a deeper rapport with students so they are able to trust me with other aspects of their lives sooner.

Here are some of the pieces I made during the 40 day challenge.

If you did an experiment, I would love to hear how it turned out! If you’re interested in hearing more about my experiment, let me know!

…is what I am.

I’ve been reading Dan B. Allender’s book, Leading with a Limp. And I’m amazed at how accurately he describes what I experience most days in the various capacities in which I lead.

“A reluctant leader knows that her calling to lead is ridiculous, but she bears the high glory of God’s decision to call weak fools into the work of leading others.”

These words bring me great comfort.

Just over a month ago, I sat opposite one of my closest friends and confidant (and work colleague), and had him tell me he was truly surprised when I accepted this job 6 years ago and still questions how and why I do it. This conversation meant in love, hit me in a weak spot as I have spent much of this year questioning my call to leadership and my role as a Campus Minister.

And what often happens for me and others I look up to, is that its often despite me that God’s glory is revealed. And often when I feel weakest, that’s when God does some powerful ministry through (and to) me.

“We should bless men and women who have done their level best to escape leadership but who have been compelled to return and put their hand on the tiller. We should expect anyone who remains in a formal leadership context to experience repeated bouts of flight, doubt, surrender, and return.”

Even as I write this and those same ponderings of ‘is this the right fit’ come up, I find myself having a full and gratifying text message conversation with a first year student.  A conversation that started with her choosing out of an invitation that led her to choose into a bigger one. It’s these moments that make me love my job.

Here is this year’s collection of photos and stories from the Bangladesh GUP.

Hello everyone!

Check out my annual ministry report and check back here soon for more stories and photos!

Wishing you all the best this holiday season,

~Archi

With great joy I am able to report that with some additional funding that came in, I am now working on campus with students!  There are so many stories that I would love to share, and will be featured in upcoming posts, but I’d like to share a few highlights about my first week on campus.

The first week on campus was January 10^th-14^th. I started the week by having a meeting with Student Exec President, Vanessa and visioning for what my time on campus would look like and what things we hope to do this semester. It was exciting to have this conversation and starting putting plans in place as I’d been dreaming and anticipating for my return to campus.

After Vanessa and I met, we went to the Student Executive Leaders Meeting. After spending some time catching up and sharing about our breaks, we began to plan and vision for the semester. During the summer planning meeting, we discussed the possibility of studying Romans for the winter semester. It was clear the student leaders were excited about following through with this idea. I was struck by God’s providence as we began to put this plan into motion. During the fall when I was off-campus raising support, I co-led a bible study at my church of the book of Romans. It was an interactive study that included watching a historical video series which sought to portray the context of the letter of Romans, as well as spending time studying the scripture. This study allowed me to connect with people from all walks of life within my church’s congregation and gave me an opportunity to both give back to the community and continue developing and using my leadership skills. At many times during the bible studies, I would walk about struck by the similarities between life in the Roman Empire and life on campus. I was excited to share my experiences of the book of Romans, and also learn from the interpretations and experiences of my students. We planned when we would study which sections throughout the semester, and actually developed our plan by building on the material that I worked with this fall. It was a great moment to see how God had really used my time away on campus to prepare my return as a stronger leader. It was also great to see ways in which my church community was able to tangibly be on campus with me, as I would be able to share insights into the scripture I’d learned from my church bible study group.

With great excitement we made preparations for the rest of the week in ministry. January 12^th was the annual Ryerson Campus Caravan, which was very similar to the Campus Groups Day that happened in the fall. The students were excited to meet new students and invite them to be part of the many exciting things we were planning for the semester.

January 13^th was the first Inter-Varsity community meeting for the semester. It also happened to be my birthday. It was a fun evening, as we spent time eating together and playing games as well as sharing the vision for what the semester was going to look like. Moses, designed a beautiful flyer for the bible study, and everyone was very excited about studying Romans this term! A few were disappointed we didn’t start the study that evening, as they were very eager to dig into the scripture! Vanessa, and a few students made cupcakes in honour of my birthday, and the students sang Happy Birthday. As they were singing to me, I reflected on God’s timing, as this was my first big re-introduction to the community and He placed it on a day already set apart for celebrating. Birthdays have often been bittersweet experiences for me, and this year, I was surrounded by the love of my students. All my fears about returning to campus and not being able to connect and build trust with students melted away as I heard them sing. We ended the evening with a rousing game of ultimate charades, and I went home excited about the things God would teach us and how He would use us for His purposes on campus this term!

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The IV triennial National Staff Conference happened November 29 –December 3, 2010, just outside of Toronto. This was my first National Staff Conference, and it was conference filled with enriching and inspiring conversations, seminars and talks. Each day so full that a day felt like it was 5 days; by the end of the conference it felt like we’d been there for a month instead of just 5 days!

We were to do our best to enter the conference rested. This was not my reality. The week before the conference was my last week at my part-time job. It was full of with early mornings and long nights. Once the work week was over, I actually spent the weekend preparing for my staff role at the conference, which was being part of the Stage Design Team. The days before the conference was full of phone calls and last-minute errand running.  But despite some of the stress entering the Conference, I had a great time with my Stage Design Team, as we brought the various components of our design to life. For me, it was a time to reclaim and redeem my Interior Design background; and I thoroughly enjoyed using those skills to symbolically impart the theme of the conference.

The theme of the conference was the Word of God being spread amongst all the nations. We saw this in the morning bible studies in the book of Acts and the inspiring plenary sessions led by Rev. Dr. Brenda Salter-McNeil. In the afternoons, we had opportunities to attend seminars about a variety of topics. I attended a seminar about Proxes, (if you’re wondering what one is, keep reading my blog and I’ll be talking about them at length in another post) and one about building partnerships with ethnic churches. Each left me with a lot to think about and with a lot of ideas.

As much as I enjoyed the conference content, there were many hard moments for me throughout the conference. At various points, I felt conflicted in my calling and identity. These moments were often spurred on from “altar calls” made during the plenary sessions, but sometimes would spring up in conversations I would have with staff that I only nominally knew.  For a good chunk of the week, I felt “blocked” in more ways than one. One particularly challenging moment occurred during an alter call where we were asked to pray in our mother tongue. For some reason, I was extremely triggered by this exhortation, partly because I didn’t know my mother tongue. After there was a call to pray in any other language, and at that point I felt like the part of my brain that retained all the languages I did know was blocked.

However, the following day offered redemption. The plenary session was about being bridge builders. Near the end of the session, there were two altar calls that night: one for those who felt they were bridge builders and one for those who felt they were had been overlooked and were not living to their full potential as a leader. All who responded to the call were prayed for by the president of IV Canada. This was the first altar call I’ve ever responded to, and afterward I felt really exposed. I wanted to get out of that room ASAP, but was stopped by Ashley. Ashley is an extraordinary woman. She is doing an internship with Inter-Varsity in Montreal, she is of German and Pakistani descent, and though I don’t know her well, we’ve had a lot of great conversations about culture and identity. Ashley was struck by the message that evening, and immediately sought me out to talk. What followed was a great conversation about identity and culture. Reflecting on the conversation later, I realized that though my official focus of Campus Ministry is not South Asian Ministry, I was doing it anyway with the conversations I’ve been having with various staff within the organization. I realized that my calling is to follow where God leads me, regardless of my official job assignment.

On the whole, I left the Conference, largely unsettled. However, as I’ve since discovered, God often uses the places of discontent in our lives to fuel vision for future ministry.

So, I plan to post blog posts about the items mentioned in my last post later today, but I feel the need to share these musings first.

One thing that I took away from the National Staff Conference was a book written by Marva Dawn entitled Keeping the Sabbath Wholly. I was drawn to this book because I am the first to admit that I am a frequent covenant breaker when it comes to observing the Sabbath fully. This book frames keeping the Sabbath whole by breaking up our actions and practices into four categories: ceasing, resting, embracing and feasting. As I began reading this book, at once I became aware of the ways in which my lack of observing the Sabbath or the lackluster ways I have been observing the Sabbath have effected how I actually feel at the end of my Sabbath. For instance, I have been getting better at ceasing and resting during my Sabbath, but rarely do I embrace and feast; and I realize that choosing to actively incorporate those elements in my Sabbath observances will actually change how I feel about the practice of Sabbath keeping and also change what I am able to receive and how I worship God.

So, typically I have been observing the Sabbath on Saturdays. This past Saturday, I intentionally chose not to observe the Sabbath, as I felt guilty that I hadn’t prepared myself well to take the day off, and that there was too much to do in too short a timeline. Sunday rolls around and I’m feeling pretty tired from my lack of Sabbath observing. But, rather than get started on work, I finished watching an unexpectedly moving movie and enjoyed some music that I recently discovered I liked. At this point, I needed to shower and get ready for church lest I be late (and I didn’t want to be late as I was on the coffee serving team and wasn’t sure how much prep I would be responsible for before the service). In my rush to leave, I didn’t do a thorough check to make sure I had everything and thus left the house without my cell phone. Which, upon realizing I didn’t have, I offered to God saying that it was good to not have it so I could be focused on the service and then do some errands and come home to the many emails and notifications awaiting me on my phone.

So, I board the bus and begin my 45-minute commute to church. I actually love this commute, it is one of the few times of the week when I can read or listen to music or just be silent and be present with God. This is especially true of the Sunday morning commute to church, as there are fewer people travelling at this time and thus more opportunities to be quiet with my thoughts and reflections. So I continued reading Keeping the Sabbath Wholly, and found myself in the midst of the embracing section of the book. Which called me to embrace intentionality, Christian community, and time instead of space; all at the heels of my intentional choice to not observe the Sabbath. (I have often found as I read the book that I have recently experienced instances of choosing the opposite of what is recommended to keep the Sabbath whole.)

I get to church to find that everything had already been prepared for serving coffee, so all I had to do was be present to serve after the service. So, I went and sat down during the service. While in the service, I had a conversation with God in my head that I was sad I missed my Sabbath, but today was not going to be a Sabbath, because I needed to do x,y,z and that would mean breaking my Sabbath observances. (You can imagine where this is going.)

After the service, I served the coffee and tea, and after cleaning up I prepared to set off on my errands. I checked and saw that the people I usually fellowship with after church had already left and saw it as confirmation that I should go forth in my errands/covenant breaking. Just as I was about to leave I ran into a South Asian man from my church who has been very interested in my work with IVCF, and had offered to have a casual meeting/time of fellowship with his family. He asked what my plans were, and right before I told him I had plans, I realized this could be the invitation I was hoping for, and sure enough when I said I had no definite plans I was invited to spend the afternoon with him and his family.

I was excited by the idea, but also a little worried, as I often find it challenging to spend time with South Asians as I often do not conform to South Asian cultural expectations. I often feel judged for conforming to Canadian culture and not being “South Asian enough”, this especially happens with South Asian women, as my family chose to raise me in ways that were unusual for how South Asian girls and women are typically brought up. I was concerned when the first part of this invitation included the husband telling his wife they were having company (giving me flashbacks to the time spent with my family in Australia) which was soon followed by my getting a ride with his wife and children to their home, while he took public transit. But this experience that triggered so many fears of past experiences was redeemed right from the beginning; conversation with his wife was easy and moved smoothly. We moved through a variety of topics and she was eager to answer my questions and listen to my responses.

Upon arrival, she quickly attempted to straighten up while asking me to sit. We were able to have good conversation at various points. As she began preparations for lunch she asked if I enjoyed spices, and she was glad I was able. She didn’t assume that I could, as she mentioned many South Asians she knew were unable to handle lots of spice after leaving their home countries and settling in Canada, but was glad by my eagerness for spices.

The family is Indian, so while there are lots of similarities there are many differences between our countries. However, it is clear they have spent some time learning about those differences. Soon after the husband arrived we ate, and I thoroughly enjoyed eating with my hands (though if I wanted I could have used cutlery). The meal was a goat liver curry, which was good, but I have never eaten goat or liver before, so I was worried how my stomach would respond, but it was ok. While we ate we watched a Bollywood movie and some home movies, and had some snippets of conversation.

After lunch, we chatted and had tea. After that, the family has a usual practice of taking a Sunday nap. Which I was invited to take part in, as they brought me a blanket and the family retired to their rooms. I spent some time reflecting on the circumstances of this day, and after realizing my plan of post-fellowship errand running was not likely to happen, I was able to be fully in God’s presence.

I began to continue reading Keeping the Sabbath Wholly until the family stirred from their naps. As people made their way down, we watched the food network as dinner was being prepared. Dinner was served around 9 pm, and it was delicious. There was lemon rice, served with the goat liver curry and a homemade raita. It was delicious, though I was still worried about the meat.

After dinner we had dessert of watermelon, and enjoyed some more fellowship time. Around 10:30, I was invited to spend the night, as it would take a long time to get home. I wanted to take them up on the offer, but needed to be home for a meeting at 8:15 the next morning, so I opted for going home.

Before I left, I was able to be part of the evening prayer. I then had company as I waited for the bus. As I got on the bus, I was struck by just how much I enjoyed that afternoon and evening. The God-ordained Sabbath I experienced offered a time of good rest and restoration. There were many times when I was able to feel a “homecoming” both to my South Asian culture but also to be part of a strong Christian household. As I got to spend time hearing their stories, I was surprised by the ways I had categories of understanding; and that my questions were eagerly received and answered. Easily we were able to navigate our ways through some deep cultural conversations where we both walked away sharing and receiving knowledge and understanding. I was able to experience the comforts of home without being home; which was truly a gift as I have been struggling being “home” in my parent’s home as well as my current home. I’ve been struggling with notions and experiences of family, as I’ve been in the reality of “almosts” and “good enough” in both households, so to be hosted well by a South Asian Christian family which offered me a holistic picture of identity as South Asian-Canadian Christian was a great blessing.

And after taking that day off, I was able to return to work the next day with greater vision and more energy.

It’s been quite the hiatus, but I hope to post some new posts soon about the following topics:

– Stories from Campus
– Thanksgiving Musings
– National Staff Conference

and some other cool stories that have happened this semester.

Check back here soon.
~A

Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper as his partner.’ – Genesis 2:18, NRSV

For the past few weeks and months, I have been praying for members of my Greater Toronto Area staff team as they searched for housing. Staff from the University of Toronto (all three campuses) and the Ontario College of Art and Design along with their respective families (spouses and children) have been looking to live communally together, in order to love and serve one another; as well as model service and hospitality for their students. It’s been a daunting task finding a house in reasonable proximity to their respective campuses that allows the space to entertain and live comfortably. I rejoiced when I found out this week that this group found a house! In addition to it meeting their various needs and desires; the house is located very close to Ryerson! Though not in their desired neighbourhood, this house fulfilled their needs and made them excited about the ministry opportunities, including the possibility of more intentional partnership with Ryerson!

As many of you know, I have been serving as the only Campus Minister at Ryerson for a long time. I admit there have been times when I have longed for a staff partner on campus, but it dawned on me that I have never felt alone on campus. There have been three very distinct ways that I have experienced partnership on campus:

1. Holy Spirit

I have been amazed at how I have received partnership with the Holy Spirit, to see the Spirit’s prompting in the lives of students and calling them deeply to follow that call. I also frequently enter (sometimes with trepidation) into situations and see that the Spirit has already been at work and feel peace about the work that needs to be done.

2. You

Your prayer and financial support reminds me that I am not alone, and this is OUR ministry. I may be “alone” on campus but I know you are praying for me and supporting me as I follow God’s call to university students. Your words of encouragement and the way you live your lives inspire me and keep me going.

3. Students

I have been blessed with student leaders who are extraordinary! Their passion, enthusiasm, and creativity about sharing their faith astounds me, and yet they are humble, teachable and open to receiving new vision for ministry. I often hear stories of staff who receive reproach and hostility from students, and I have been blessed with students who willingly choose to partner with me.

And yet, I am still amazed at the ways God ministers to me. Recently, I had a particularly disheartening series of conversations with my parents about my work in ministry. As an Asian woman, receiving the blessing of ones parents is vitally important, and coming to terms with the reality that it may be a long time (or never happen) before I receive the blessing from my parents to do this work. In a time that’s been stressful, trying to raise support and make the necessary preparations to leave my day job, having these conversations was particularly debilitating. Especially, since my father essentially stated the same things he did when I first told him I was coming on staff. The realization that all the “progress” I thought I had made with my parents post-AASC had been an illusion was a particularly hard truth to receive. In the aftermath of this conversations, I sought the prayer and counsel of my fellow Asian-Canadian staff and my supervisors and ministry mentors. I was amazed and greatly encouraged by the ways they came alongside me and cared for me during this time.

One of the Asian-Canadian staff who had a similar staff journey, said something that I clung to, which was that she hoped that in the midst of this conflict with my parents, that people from my church family would emerge and offer me the encouragement and support that my parents were unable to give. This hope was echoed by my former staff partner, who added that she hoped I would have people emerge that would continue to cultivate my interest and knowledge of my cultural background while encouraging and supporting me in my ministry work. I didn’t realize how strongly I held on to that hope, until I met such a couple.

Today at church, I met an elderly Sri Lankan couple. They were excited to meet a fellow South-Asian Christian, and were even more joyous when they discovered I was Sri Lankan. The husband, a retired missionary and his wife were equally as excited as I shared with them my migration story. When I told them I worked as a missionary they were very excited. When I told them I worked at Ryerson, they lit up as they told me their son had studied there. When I told them that my degree at Ryerson was in design, they told me with pride that their daughter had attended art college for design, and though she was successful, left her job for a pilgrimage to Sri Lanka and has settled there since. The wife, who upon discovery that my parents were not believers was even more excited about my testimony as a missionary. We talked for a little while after that, and when I left church and was heading home on the subway, I saw the interaction in a new light. I saw that this was God ministering to me with people of my ethnic heritage who saw my life and the path I am on, as something to be proud of rather than ashamed; who believed and modeled in their lives the importance of doing the thing with which God has blessed you; whether it be following an unconventional vocation or a serving the Lord full-time in ministry. Seeing their faces light up as I told them my story and the pride they had of their own children who, like me, followed unconventional paths refreshed me in ways I can’t even begin to fully describe!

This past week has shown me, that though God has been so faithful to me already, that there are more ways He chooses to offer partnership to me.

If you would like to know more about my work with Inter-Varsity and ways in which you can partner with me, please click here.

I am in the process of sorting out the ins and outs of a new way to do newsletters. I hope to have an update letter out soon.

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