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2014 Annual Report

Here’s a few ministry highlights of 2014! Check back here for more photos and extras about these and other stories!

2014 annual report.indd

Summer of South Asian Ministry

In some ways this summer was my summer for significant South Asian ministry, and in many ways a summer of answered prayers for clarity in my role as a minister to South Asians.

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I directed the 2014 Bangladesh GUP, and here are a few of my reflections: Being the director of this GUP after serving as a staff for the past two years was adramatic change. Suddenly, I was the one people looked to for answers; I was responsible for booking flights, determining program with our hosts and making sure our team raised all their funds. There were aspects that I loved and aspects that I hated.
LOVED
• Working with a new staff team and figuring out how to free them to lead with their strengths and grow in their weaknesses
• Renewing and deepening relationships with BSFB staff and students
• Relying on God in new ways and seeing the ways He would meet me and call me to trust and partner with Him
HATED
• Making tough decisions on behalf of the team and the ways that would affect relationships between the team and myself
• The all-consuming thoughts about the GUP and the loneliness of leadership
• Needing to always be thinking on my feet and making quick changes due to unforeseen variables
But, now as I look back on the experience, I am grateful for the things that our team learned and experienced, how well we partnered with BSFB, and the ways that I grew as a leader. You can read more of my Bangladesh GUP reflections here.

booklet

 

I also took two Ryerson students with me to the 3rd South Asian InterVarsity Leadership Institute hosted by InterVarsity USA in Boston this August.
To be honest, I was not looking forward to this conference. I believed this would be a deeply enriching experience for the students, but I was tired from the GUP and other summer responsibilities and was sacrificing being part of some significant events in Toronto that week. But, our God is a gracious God. In all the places of need I felt, He met me with abundance. I felt a deep richness of partnership with my colleagues, I was empowered to lead and refueled after a long season of fruitful but tiring work. And I was amazed at what happened for my students. S, a recent graduate, told
me this story on the bus ride home: “I’m a Pastor’s son and have been a Christian my entire life but I NEVER talk about my faith with people. Even when my friends were thinking about becoming a Christian, I wouldn’t talk to them until after they made a decision to follow Christ. I always found talking about my faith awkward. But when we were in Boston sharing our faith with strangers, I realized it’s always awkward when you start but you have to get over it. So I did, and it was amazing!”After S got home, he had started a new job, and within 20 minutes of meeting his
supervisor he shared his faith and asked him to follow Jesus! And N was so excited to reach out to South Asians on our campus. He felt inspired by the ways he can easily build relationships with nonbelieving South Asians and be a witness. Since returning to campus, we have had more South Asians be involved in our ministries than ever before! Praise God!

SALI group

A story in photos

At the end of a busy semester l like to spend some time reflecting on what has happened in the ministry and in my life. More posts about this semester will be up soon, but in the meantime while I was looking at old photos I noticed a trend that made me laugh. Apparently I have some common hand gestures.

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The photos from top to bottom (L to R): 1. At a good friend’s wedding in 2012. 2. In Bangladesh as the GUP director in 2014. 3. At a 2013 community dinner. 4. During the 2012 Bangladesh GUP. 5. At an End of Semester Party in 2010.

2013 Highlights

Here is this year’s annual report. Enjoy!

2013 annual report.indd

In the Works

As the semester winds to a close, and I spend time with my team debriefing and reflecting on ministry this fall, my mind begins to dream and vision for 2014: the ministry on campus, the invitations to be part of some conversations that will shape some aspects of the larger organization, and the continued visioning and planning for the 2014 Bangladesh GUP. Here are some things that are “in the works”:

Kingdom Calling

Before the year closes, I have been invited to be staff at InterVarsity’s annual winter conference, called Kingdom Calling from December 27-31. It’s a conference designed for third and fourth year students who are asking and discerning what’s next as they pursue what God may be inviting them to do after they finish university. As a student, this conference and its predecessor are a huge reason why I decided to intern and then later come on staff with InterVarsity. It’s one of my favorite conferences run by InterVarsity, and even in the years when I haven’t been staff for this conference, I’ve been excited to volunteer my time and host people in Toronto. This year, I’m excited to journey alongside some of my students (many of whom I’ve been in relationship with for years) as they encounter what God will say to them during this conference as a small group leader. Please be praying for them as they prepare themselves for this conference, and as they are present. Also, please pray that they would be open and willing to trust the community that gathers at this conference (some of my best friends in the organization are people I’ve met through this conference, and I’ve found there to be something providential in gathering with peers asking the same questions as they often become to community that go with you when you say yes). In addition to being a small group leader, I am also serving as the Hospitality Coordinator, which basically means I’m responsible for helping welcome and orient people to Toronto, as well as, come up with some fun mid-week city exploration activities.

2014 Bangladesh GUP

I am excited to be directing this year’s GUP. I, in no way feel 100% ready to take on this task, but as my “mental tape” (the loving term a former housemate gave for my memory) rewinds, I remember that those who went before me also were not 100% ready to take on this task. But, as God has been leading and guiding me in the process, I am grateful as things fall smoothly into place, and I manage to meet most deadlines in time. I am excited for the fellowships partnering this year, and I am really excited about my staff team. And as more pieces come together I am eager to see those who follow the promptings of the Spirit to go. Please keep me in prayer as I take some time this month to vision and plan for the upcoming months, and pray for the invitations that will go out to students and for them as they process with Jesus and loved ones if this is the right invitation to accept.

Speaking Tour

“You’re young, you’re still finding your voice,” were the words spoken to me by a stranger this summer at the Wild Goose Festival followed by an invitation to take risks to find and reveal my voice. At the time, I was mildly miffed at the condescension of this statement. But as I thought about my year, I saw the ways I was struggling to claim my voice. I thought the invitation was more of the exhortation I’d been hearing for a while to write, but now I see it was more of an all-encompassing invitation to use my voice.

The first time I did a talk this fall, I cried. In front of a room full of people. Which came as a surprise to me, as I’ve never lost my composure during a talk. The topic of my talk was about living out the beatitudes in a community, and why choosing to seek and dwell in a community is worth the costs it may pose. I chose to be bold and share some of my own story, and the depth of what I was sharing hit me in a deep way, while I was speaking, which led to the tears.

It’s often been hit or miss for me when I speak to a group of people. I have studied in theory, the best practices and procedures, but then I find an odd thing happens when I actually stand in front of a group of people, and all that I know to do goes right out of my head, and though very composed, I come across as robotic. In any case, I wasn’t eager to speak to a large group of people following this talk. But with the new title of director of the 2014 Bangladesh GUP, the invitations to speak came in.

I found myself on a bit of a speaking tour, which was both exhilarating and terrifying. My strengths as a campus minister lie heavily in the mentoring and discipling that happens in small groups, and I tend to do best when I spend time with those in my care so that I truly know their context and can discern the best next steps to lead and advise them toward. But, the anonymity of the those in attendance for these speaking invitations, was freeing and a new dynamic with which to work. My first invitation was to speak about redefining love, and how love calls us to love people on the margins and cross barriers and how it relates to crossing ethnic and cultural barriers at the University of Toronto Mississauga campus fellowship. I had the freedom to choose whichever text fit this theme and was encouraged to share stories of Bangladesh, so I spoke out of John 4 and invited the students to do the same prayer mapping activity that we did at Ryerson about loving our enemies and praying for those who persecute us.

My next invitation was to speak at the University of Toronto St George Korean Christian Fellowship. I followed a number of stories shared by students in the community who had gone to Bangladesh this past spring. I shared a few reasons why GUPs are a good thing to do, the long term impacts and some loose details about this year’s upcoming trip. I also shared a few of my own stories. And I realized, as I tried to channel some of my good friends and mentors who I deeply respect as public speakers, how it becomes super easy to share more than you intend.

Afterward, as I was walking home, and realized my brief speaking tour was on hiatus until the new year, I reflected on the ways that God chooses to invite those in their weakness reveal His glory. Though, I’m still a little wary of these invitations, and often feel ineffectual, I know ultimately its not me or my words that matter, but what is revealed of Him. And like most things I encounter as a campus minister, I will never truly know how deeply things take root and grow until much later.

Finding Home

“Fi, you HAVE to buy it, if you don’t I will not be friends with you…” At the end of our first week in country, Fi and I went on the first of many local adventures in Dhaka. We picked up some tailoring, got some local snacks and went shopping. The early rainy season made the weather unusually cool, a contrast to the “walking in butter” sensation that happened often last year. We stopped in one shop and Fi found an awesome shalwar khameez that was in a plaid pattern that was red, green and yellow, both the kind of outfit I could easily see Fi wear, and one that would bring delight to all who saw her in it, hence my strong admonishment to buy it. Reflecting on this day and our adventure, I realized I knew Fi a lot better than I did on last year’s GUP, and I had a strong sense of peace about being in and engaging in Dhaka; the fear that constantly gripped me last year was gone, I had a better sense of what to expect and could better anticipate situations. When we walked back to Grace House and told the students of our successful adventure, joy abounded in my heart, and I knew, I was home.

When we lead students on GUPs, we teach them about 4 stages of culture shock they will encounter as they adjust to a foreign culture: Honeymoon, Hostility, Humour, and Home. Honeymoon is the first, and occurs in the first few days or week in country, where everything is novel and new and there is a surface level love of all people and situations. As in life, the honeymoon ends and the next stage begins, which is hostility. In the hostility stage, there is recognition of experiencing culture shock, often people feel angry, frustrated, saddened, confused and a plethora of other emotions as they encounter things that once brought them so much joy. The length of this stage varies, some people spend a long time here, while others move into the next stage quickly. The next stage is humour, where things that once would bring up feelings of hostility are actually humourous. This is a difficult stage to gauge, as sometimes people rush to get here and try to find humour in situations that ends up being condemning or criticizing of the host culture (which would indicate one was still firmly in the hostility stage). The true humour stage is when there isn’t a mean spirit within the humour, and more a spirit of acceptance and joy. The last stage is home, where you feel as though the host culture is home. You’re able to see the good and the bad, and with right perspective know how to adapt appropriately to the situations at hand. The thing to note is that often people don’t always move through these stages in a linear way, and may jump back and forth through the stages as different situations arise.

Last year in Bangladesh, I loved the experience I had with the Canadian team. But I personally had a really hard time in Bangladesh. My expectations of how I would be received and perceived were far from the reality of my experience. I spent a few days in the honeymoon stage, and a few weeks in hostility stage, and only toward the end of the trip did I enter into the humour stage. But, I very much left the country never reaching the home stage. I walked away from the GUP last year thinking I would never step foot in the country again, and made efforts to be at peace with my experience. I never would have thought I would go back the following year, let alone direct the next year (more on that story later). I decided to go back once I realized how much this GUP influenced and pushed my students into new places of growth and discipleship, and also with the hope that God wouldn’t leave me unsettled with my experience in Bangladesh and would offer healing and redemption. I just didn’t expect it to happen so soon.

Mirrors

The song that Fiona and I would spend time listening to in our room was Justin Timberlake’s Mirrors. It had become one of my new summer jams, and I was pleased to find out Fiona liked it too, and had it on her phone. On days where we needed to recharge and have a bit of a room dance party, we’d put this song on.

One of the lines repeated in the song is, “It’s like you’re my mirror, my mirror staring back at me”. I found this happened more than once with the students on the GUP. I would hear them vulnerably bear their souls, and name their fears and places where they lacked hope; and couldn’t see the thing that God was doing or was offering them. And so, with boldness and more than a little trepidation, I shared my own stories. The ones that I was nowhere near done processing, and ones that I still questioned God about. Ones that I would more than willingly share, when I felt more resolution about the state they were in. But there I found myself, sharing these unprocessed, unfinished stories and in doing so, did the thing they haven’t always clearly done for me; give hope. The hope that God works in mysterious ways in the midst of our unfinished stories. Sharing these stories of struggle and pain helped me see that 1, they are still not resolved, and 2, God still wants to use those stories, even when they are unfinished. And, the things you don’t want to deal with, and stories you wish were finished, are the very ones that follow you places, and stare back at you, and its up to you how you respond.

me and fi

Fiona and !

Bangladesh GUP vignettes

There are so many stories, and so many new experiences from this trip. I am in the process of putting something together a bit more formally. In the meantime, I’ve started writing a number of vignettes about the GUP. I’ve started a process for writing, as inspired by the “Mixed Media Storytelling Workbook” called “streams of consciousness” where you spend one minute thinking about a writing prompt, then spend 7 minutes writing uninterrupted, not worrying about punctuation, grammar or if what you are writing makes sense. As I continue to experiment with this method, I’ll post some of these vignettes.

 

 

Quick musings on the life of a Campus Minister

Soon, I’ll get my thoughts sorted out and write about my time in Bangladesh, but that may be a few weeks from now.

But here’s one quick musing:

“Often you give away the best gifts

This was shared by one of the students on our team, right before presenting a gift that the students prepared for the staff. Prior to this, a gift that we had given to our placement hosts and the BSFB staff were “gratitude journals”, based off this idea. We wrote memories and words of encouragement scattered throughout the pages, and presented them at our goodbye party. This was an idea I found online, and I was the one who was in charge of bringing it to completion. Little did I know that the students really loved this idea, so much so that they replicated it, and got journals for each of the IVCF staff, and each wrote scattered messages throughout the books. Even though, I know part of the point of the journal, is that you “discover” these messages as you use the book, but I, and imagine the other staff as well, flipped through the journal and found all the messages and read them. For me, especially, as the originator of the host gift journals (and right up until the time we presented them, felt like maybe it was a bad idea and the students/hosts would not like it); it meant a lot to me to see the students replicate this idea. I also was struck as I read their messages by the ways they had seen and appreciated things I wasn’t sure they had noticed about how I lead and how deeply I care for them and for the Bengali people. Often life as a campus minister is hard, and you rarely get appreciated for the hard work that you do, so in rare instances like this, it means a lot of to see that students see and understand Jesus better because they see how His love shaped you and called you to model that for others.