But I’m too young to be an “Elder”

In January and February of this year, I was invited to participate in conversations about multi-ethnicity and diversity within InterVarsity Canada. These meetings came as a response to meeting held in June of 2013, and were at the time leading up to and during a deep source of stress, anxiety and discomfort for me. The meetings were set up for visible ethnic minorities on staff with IVCF to have a space to share some of our experiences of cultural dissonance within the organization with members of the Campus Team. The Campus Team (a team of IVCF’s senior leadership) were to listen, and if necessary ask clarifying questions, but otherwise offer no response to things we said. This format added to the stress of the situation, and I left those meetings feeling unresolved and deeply saddened about where we were as an organization and about the experiences my colleagues bravely shared. I then had the misfortune of having to rehash these conversations numerous times for friends, colleagues and supervisors who were not in the meetings but wanted to hear about the experience. And though not intended what followed was 4 months of silence from the leaders and organizers of this June gathering. Then, we heard from the VP of Campus Ministry, who in her response apologized for the delay and named that in early 2014 there would be a gathering of “elders” who would be part of conversations about next steps. A few of my close friends and colleagues were named as some of those elders, and when I first saw this email, my heart sank. I was happy for my colleagues to be in these conversations but also was feeling unsettled that they wouldn’t be able to fully represent me or the voice of those who are minorities within the minorities and I would be in yet another place where it felt like my voice on a matter I care deeply about was being silenced.

But in December 2013, I got this email: During and after the gathering of visible ethnic minority staff in June, there has been opportunity to learn a lot as we seek to move forward and grow together in inter-cultural competence. Last Spring it became clear that among the broad staff team there are those who are recognized and serve as unofficial “elders” whom others seek out for interpretation and sponsorship.  In January some of those people will get together to talk together about where we are and what are some next steps.  Would you consider being a part of this conversation?

I said yes, and found myself in these “elder” meetings. As I sat in this room with other “elders” and members of the Campus Team, I was struck by the sense that “I’m too young to be an elder”. My heart grieved for the older South Asian Canadian staff that were once on staff but have since left. My heart grieved where we were as an organization. My heart grieved my experiences as a South Asian Canadian IV staff and the stark differences between my experiences and those of my South Asian USA IV staff colleagues.

But at the end of these meetings, we left with hope. We named some tangible next steps for future staff placement, changes in fundraising training, and suggestions for supervisor training. We also planned to meet with all those who gathered in June 2013, to debrief those meetings and offer encouragement. As “elders” we were asked to lead small groups discussions during this meeting.

At this debriefing meeting, which happened in late February, In addition to time debriefing we made a timeline of significant moments in IVCF Canada’s multi-ethnic and multi-cultural history. Seeing these milestones offered a lot of hope and perspective as we saw how things rapidly changed in the last few years. There’s still a long way to go, but there’s hope for the future for those who are on staff and for the students present in our ministries.

The Multi-Ethnic and Multicultural Gathering of IVCF Canada staff