Archive | July 2013

Finding Home

“Fi, you HAVE to buy it, if you don’t I will not be friends with you…” At the end of our first week in country, Fi and I went on the first of many local adventures in Dhaka. We picked up some tailoring, got some local snacks and went shopping. The early rainy season made the weather unusually cool, a contrast to the “walking in butter” sensation that happened often last year. We stopped in one shop and Fi found an awesome shalwar khameez that was in a plaid pattern that was red, green and yellow, both the kind of outfit I could easily see Fi wear, and one that would bring delight to all who saw her in it, hence my strong admonishment to buy it. Reflecting on this day and our adventure, I realized I knew Fi a lot better than I did on last year’s GUP, and I had a strong sense of peace about being in and engaging in Dhaka; the fear that constantly gripped me last year was gone, I had a better sense of what to expect and could better anticipate situations. When we walked back to Grace House and told the students of our successful adventure, joy abounded in my heart, and I knew, I was home.

When we lead students on GUPs, we teach them about 4 stages of culture shock they will encounter as they adjust to a foreign culture: Honeymoon, Hostility, Humour, and Home. Honeymoon is the first, and occurs in the first few days or week in country, where everything is novel and new and there is a surface level love of all people and situations. As in life, the honeymoon ends and the next stage begins, which is hostility. In the hostility stage, there is recognition of experiencing culture shock, often people feel angry, frustrated, saddened, confused and a plethora of other emotions as they encounter things that once brought them so much joy. The length of this stage varies, some people spend a long time here, while others move into the next stage quickly. The next stage is humour, where things that once would bring up feelings of hostility are actually humourous. This is a difficult stage to gauge, as sometimes people rush to get here and try to find humour in situations that ends up being condemning or criticizing of the host culture (which would indicate one was still firmly in the hostility stage). The true humour stage is when there isn’t a mean spirit within the humour, and more a spirit of acceptance and joy. The last stage is home, where you feel as though the host culture is home. You’re able to see the good and the bad, and with right perspective know how to adapt appropriately to the situations at hand. The thing to note is that often people don’t always move through these stages in a linear way, and may jump back and forth through the stages as different situations arise.

Last year in Bangladesh, I loved the experience I had with the Canadian team. But I personally had a really hard time in Bangladesh. My expectations of how I would be received and perceived were far from the reality of my experience. I spent a few days in the honeymoon stage, and a few weeks in hostility stage, and only toward the end of the trip did I enter into the humour stage. But, I very much left the country never reaching the home stage. I walked away from the GUP last year thinking I would never step foot in the country again, and made efforts to be at peace with my experience. I never would have thought I would go back the following year, let alone direct the next year (more on that story later). I decided to go back once I realized how much this GUP influenced and pushed my students into new places of growth and discipleship, and also with the hope that God wouldn’t leave me unsettled with my experience in Bangladesh and would offer healing and redemption. I just didn’t expect it to happen so soon.

Mirrors

The song that Fiona and I would spend time listening to in our room was Justin Timberlake’s Mirrors. It had become one of my new summer jams, and I was pleased to find out Fiona liked it too, and had it on her phone. On days where we needed to recharge and have a bit of a room dance party, we’d put this song on.

One of the lines repeated in the song is, “It’s like you’re my mirror, my mirror staring back at me”. I found this happened more than once with the students on the GUP. I would hear them vulnerably bear their souls, and name their fears and places where they lacked hope; and couldn’t see the thing that God was doing or was offering them. And so, with boldness and more than a little trepidation, I shared my own stories. The ones that I was nowhere near done processing, and ones that I still questioned God about. Ones that I would more than willingly share, when I felt more resolution about the state they were in. But there I found myself, sharing these unprocessed, unfinished stories and in doing so, did the thing they haven’t always clearly done for me; give hope. The hope that God works in mysterious ways in the midst of our unfinished stories. Sharing these stories of struggle and pain helped me see that 1, they are still not resolved, and 2, God still wants to use those stories, even when they are unfinished. And, the things you don’t want to deal with, and stories you wish were finished, are the very ones that follow you places, and stare back at you, and its up to you how you respond.

me and fi

Fiona and !

Bangladesh GUP vignettes

There are so many stories, and so many new experiences from this trip. I am in the process of putting something together a bit more formally. In the meantime, I’ve started writing a number of vignettes about the GUP. I’ve started a process for writing, as inspired by the “Mixed Media Storytelling Workbook” called “streams of consciousness” where you spend one minute thinking about a writing prompt, then spend 7 minutes writing uninterrupted, not worrying about punctuation, grammar or if what you are writing makes sense. As I continue to experiment with this method, I’ll post some of these vignettes.